silentchemistry

2010-10-21T01:53:00.000-07:00

is it my fault that i cared about you? i really feel like giving up. i really cant bear with all this stuff. what i want is happiness, what is so hard about that? you can do what you want, but i cant. i feel like as you are no longer the one i use to know. i thought you would know me and understand how i feel, i guess not. i was so stupid believing you, i keep falling for this all over again. i really had enough of being cheated. i thought i can turn to you, i guess i was wrong. i cant turn to anyone now. i shall keep everything to myself. why should i cry over this right. maybe i should change, i really hate you now. you left me speechless. i rather be alone then being hurt all over again. i might keep quiet but i do have feelings. no point me typing all this shit. sorry, i giving up now. i really cant bear the pain. im weak. im not gonna control you. i do love you, but seriously, i dont want because of me you are the one suffering. bye for now. sorry.

2010-07-04T01:53:00.000-07:00

retarded ass! if you dont know what the fuck is love, then dont accuse anyhow that I dont know whats love. and fyi, i still dont know wtf is love? since you're the smart one who know whats love, wtf is it? still dont want to reply my msg? fucker betul! get lost uh cb.

2010-07-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

boo where are you?! i wanna otp with you. need you damn badlyyy): hee. i love you so much la boo^^ hee.

2010-06-29T05:46:00.000-07:00

maybe you do deserve someone much better than me. idk, I've hurt you and i don't like it. and it makes me like as if I'm using you. I'm sorry that I've treat you like shit, I'm beginning to hate myself. I love you, but every time i hurt you, it makes me feel like as if i know how to hurt you but not love you. I'm terribly sorry. i love you.

2010-06-25T06:49:00.000-07:00

you have shown me. thanks, ill change. you've hurt me, deeply, but ill prove you wrong, so wrong that you'll just pee on your pants. ill fight till the end, i wont stop. and you cant stop me. get it?

2010-06-23T00:43:00.000-07:00

i wanna meet boo so badly. i need his hugs): hmmm but im meeting him on friday^^ hee, cant wait(:

2010-06-21T07:50:00.000-07:00

i cant blog now, will start blogging tmr? i guess? see ya soon hunneys!^^

dreams.

2010-05-21T06:36:00.000-07:00

what was all those dreams i have for? well, god explained it to me just now(i think). i was crying and struggling that i fall off the bed. i was shock. i sat down thinking, but maybe this was JUST a dream or is it real? idk, maybe i shall keep it deep inside me. ill observe every single thing happening. and if its real then im speechless. and ill take this as a punishment from god. i cant be so stupid or cheap enough to fall for eveything. god, thanks for waking me up. ill just pray. nights.

im not your dog

2010-05-13T05:07:00.000-07:00

i cant lie that im not jealous. cause honestly, i am. i just dont want to tell you cause im scared it might change everything. and there's no point me being jealous, after all we are just normal friends. one more thing, i hate when people dont appreciate what i do. wtf, if you dont appreciate, might as well d.i.y. there's no need to pretend infront of me. im not your dog.

2010-04-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

triangle love.

gosh, i hate it. idk who to choose.

but whatever it is, study first.

if any of you can wait.

thn, you might be the one.

idk. anything can happen.

2010-04-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

three more days to dental appointment. damn i'm gonna miss my brace face ): and i might not be going to sch on teus. yay^^

2010-03-31T07:05:00.000-07:00

fuck the world? fuck my life? fuck you?

what else do you people wanna fuck?

2010-03-25T06:31:00.000-07:00

the hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love, love somebody else.

2010-03-23T06:48:00.000-07:00

when people say, "i love you." do they mean it? or just for the sake of saying it?

2010-03-21T00:06:00.000-07:00

i'm over you.

2010-03-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

yesterday night before i sleep, i called one of my ex, the one living in the sea. hee(: from his voice, i knw he's sooo fucking happy. hahah. i was damn bored that's why. hee^^
oh went to JB, my aunts treat(: yay^^ and that t-shirt was the boomzx! fuck sia, damn nice but too expensive. and malaysian's mats cant keep thier eyes to themselves. feel like poking them.

can you stop being sooooo self conscious? damn you're disgusting. eww!

2010-03-19T06:50:00.000-07:00

man i hate your attitude! seriously, first stick to one thn search for others. wthell is wrong with you? whatever about you. oh ya, i'm still stuck at geog. damn i just hate that subject. im done with malay, half of english and ss. (: im so proud of myself^^ wee~

2010-03-17T06:46:00.000-07:00

am i in love? my answer would be no. am i att? my answer would be no too. but am i heart broken. my answer would be YES. idk why. maybe jealous? but im not, kay maybe yes? idk. we're just close friends. OMG badd, wtfuck is wrong with you bitch? wake up! kay im awake. its back to square one. again. my life is forever back to square one. i guess, i've no life. jyeah. lets end it. and hey, be truthful.

2010-03-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

eh bangla, you so free uh go around telling people about your ex, making up story and some eventually fall for it. how stupid can that bunch of girls be? omfuckinggod! get a life jerk! you got a problem, tell straight to face. fuck! you lied about yourslef just to make girl fall for you, are you stupid? then after the girl break up with you, you go around making up story about them. eh hello, you're just some bangla living in yew tee. so fuck off, and get a life.

2010-03-11T05:45:00.000-08:00

had back pain since last week. it hurts, seriously. and today NAMIRAH BINTE SUGITO slap me! pain tawuk! ): thn still can ask me to tie for her scorpion -.- bitch! but still love her(: hee. well, i think you're kinda too young to get engaged. aiyoo friend, gatal uh you! hee. i'm craving for the karipap tht time i ate. damn its nice!:D had training, and i'm kinda pissed off with my teammates. please, think before you say la bitch! da ader satu tk cukup nk dua! gatal! knncbb!

2010-03-07T04:44:00.000-08:00

when to serangoon to attend my cousin's wedding. well, she's so cutteee!(: HAHA, but the make up too thick! ): was eating and boom appear black dog bone singer and some other actor. wooohooo!:D but i dont even know them, heh. sat outside the block with some other makciks and pakciks and smallkids(; nadiah cute la, nurin also. aiyooo.(; so was sitting and talking my mother thn all of a sudden.

"nur, mak mentua kau panggil"

i was like. "huh? ape je!"

mum:" tu iko, laki kau"

me: giving her the -.- face thn " bekas laki nur and tu bekas mak mentua nur, ada phm?"

mum: pinch me and laugh.

then talk with one of my aunty about n lvl with his son. and i'm gonna study together with him soon(:

wore high heels and i got 2 fucking blisters! thanks alot high heels! -.- btw, i'm carving for burger ramli.{: anyone wanna buy for me? hee:D

2010-03-06T05:20:00.000-08:00

loving you was my favourite mistake! i dont miss you, but i miss who i thought you was. how can i be so stupid to fall for you. damn i'm stupid. but well, life have to move on! :D

next, i know you're up to something. you just cant keep that fucking mouth of yours right? cannot shut the fuck up right? fun right telling lies? fuck la you! timer giler babs!** reminderss** dont be so self conscious.

you dont need to pretend. no need to show off tht ex of yours, basterds! go for looks right. go fuck off la this kind of guys.

its back to square one.

2010-03-05T20:43:00.000-08:00

maybe i should let her have you. i don't know.

i miss alif ): my annoying yet adorable brother. BUT! he's going home today(: and I'm the one fetching him! before that I'm going out with my hottest friend(; then off to serangoon to help out some stuff:/ jyeahhh.

2010-03-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

your evil is back! just hate it. thought you changed, but maybe i was wrong. 80% of people whom i thought was nice and what so ever,well they are not.
why do guys go for looks? why do guys go for hearts? and why do girl nowadays are timers? they can have 3 or more guys in one time.
why do people talk behind their backs? backstabbing each other? hate this hate that? is this true friends? what are friends for actually? i dont really know. i really cant trust human being. i would rather talk to an animal. even if they can talk, they might understand? some how? jyeahhh.

2010-02-26T20:53:00.000-08:00

do i love you because you're beautiful,

or i love because i love you?

my answer would be. i love you because I LOVE YOU.

2010-02-25T05:55:00.000-08:00

fuck! no one can help me with geography. damn shit! and about tmr, idk which one to go. en naeem or bugis? beli baju or dngr youth talk thingg? which is more important? but if en naeem, my mum allow. aiyo, pening! pening!

2010-02-24T05:36:00.000-08:00

i remembered everyword that you said
it all just keep spinning in my head
but it dont matter what i try to do
i keep on forgetting to forget about you
and i dont want to think about you baby so much
all the things we didnt know the way that we touch
just when i think about someone new
i keep on forgetting to forget about you.

2010-02-23T04:37:00.000-08:00

had fun today! (sort of)

hah! i wore a bloody skirt! -.-

jyeahhh, i miss someone ):

whatever laaaaaaa

2010-02-22T06:28:00.000-08:00

ite simei was alittle boring. jyeah. but overall, its okay(: and its bigggggg!

when to wife's house just now.

tried everything, wow. kecohhhhh!

so i tried this highwaist skirt and blouse.

and she was like, omg! nice eh, nice eh! you something (times three).

i forgot alr. heh!

so we tried all her heels, boots?

HAHAHAH!

guess what, none of tht suites me-.-

thn i tried my jazz shoe.

saapp, kene oiii!

so im wearing tht.

its formal, but who the fuck cares!(:

thn, while eating i was checking my 8317 num, saw all the long messages.

seriously, im crying without tears.

idk, why must this happen to us. but i made up my mind, we should just be friend as i told you just now. i was listening to this song, jojo- keep forgetting. aiyo, makes me really wanna cry.

omfg! urghh. move on baddd!!!! get a life fuckerr! shit you!

nabil, ill try to teach you chem. i myself is stuck half way. and you changed la deyyy!

guess what? chatted with my old friend, khaiza. i miss him siaa!(:

hahah! was talking about, yknw, iknw, weknw.(:

HAHAHAH! miss those old times(;

2010-02-20T06:17:00.000-08:00

maybe what my friend say is right.

stop falling in love.

love hurts.

now i shall be lesbian(:

i wanna try. heee

who wanna be my les partner?

wait, i alr have one.

i wanna get tht cute girl in my sch.

heheheh(:

2010-02-19T04:10:00.000-08:00

what are you trying to say?

you don't want me anymore?

do you know that it hurts?

do you even care how i feel?

what am i to you?

i controlled myself just now, and boom!

i was crying

then Mel saw but shaheka didn't, which is a good thing.

thn in the bus, i received a msg.

i cried continuously.

idk why, i just cant control it any longer.

it really hurts. seriously.

and thr was mel, saying"relax uh bad, dont cry"

i just kept quiet. i was speechless.

i told her to accompony me to punggol park.

we went home first, but before i step inside, i wipe all my tears

and breath in.

we went there, sat down, talk.

i accidentally talk to her in malay.

we laugh, its damn funny! atleast she cheered me up!(:

i love her! but wify more!(:

walk home, we laugh and all.

and all of a sudden, i've forgot about everything tht happen.

but still, inside me.

it hurts badly. fucking badly.

and im sorry to tell lies to some of you. i didnt want you people to worry about me.

sorry. but i hope i will be okay.

2010-02-18T05:49:00.000-08:00

all i could do is cry. omg! i dont like being treated this way. argh. i feel like as if my life has just ended. i've no mood. but im trying to be happy at the same time. at tht dream. seriously, it make me cry. im scared something might happen. and i dont want it to happen.

i want a teddy bear! ):

2010-02-16T05:10:00.000-08:00

i fucking hate people passing around my num. argh! no life uhhh?!
WAN?? who's wan? sengkang sec? who the fuck are you siaaa??
and seriously, i dont pass my num to any girls in madrasah.
and please i dont entertain people like this.(:

then there's this 21/f (i think its a female or a male idk) she or he was like

hey baby! i miss you so much!
me: err who are you????
baby you dont know me.
no??? and guess what! i dont even want to know you(:
you're making me soo high baby
-.- are you nuts???
do you want to web cam with me?
no thanks
but you can't record or take photo of me
who the fuck want to take a photo of you sia? fuck off la!
wooooah, i like your attitude!
eh bitch what the fuck is your problem sia???
what colour panties should i use?
i know! pink! -.-
okay dear.
ewwww! you crazy uh? from mental hospital uhh? aiyo, poor thing.
you are so naughty! i like
i know right! -.-
kay im done. come and cam with me.
-.- ewwwww you're disgustingggg!
baby, dont be soo naughty!
eh waliao! fuck sia you! get a life! bye!!!! BITCHHHH! (:

hah! people nowadays! tsk tsk tsk.

2010-02-13T22:47:00.000-08:00

im fucking annoyed, but at the same time happy.

maybe you're the one? idk.

if you truly love me, prove it.

im still waiting for the right time.

but no matter what, i'll still love you.

k, stop being so emo shit badd.

guess what?!! im making browniesss!

with chocolate fudge!

deli-cious!(;

want some?? hee :D

2010-02-10T06:15:00.000-08:00

it hurts. but no matter what, i will always love you.

*huggies*

2010-02-09T06:34:00.001-08:00

wah fuck. im damn stress sia! i need a hug and a pair of ear! NOW!

2010-02-07T03:05:00.000-08:00

this guy is turning 18 tomorrow. hee!

still thinking of what to get for him.

remember about what we texted just now kay kay kay.

start a new(;
love you!

2010-02-05T05:32:00.000-08:00

im just so confuse! fucking confuse! seriously. urghh. wtfuck! gosh. im damn angry. fuck you la bo! seriously. you can go and die la bangla! jerk! uhhh!

2010-02-03T05:08:00.000-08:00

kay, today was damn piss off. seriously sia. ah fuck ah! kk, idk why but i think i like the cute girl. damn she's soo cute! heheh! :D
kay, erms after sch whn to shaheka's place to study. thn blablabla. her friend ah, tht yasseen ah, damn annoying siaaa. walao. keep calling me 1.60 -.- so what if im short? jealous uhh?

2010-02-02T05:40:00.000-08:00

im sooo happy that i didnt took out my braces. still have err 2 more months with my baby(;
i swear today is sooo damn boring. urgghhh~! but thinking about tht person make me smile(: heee.
thats all for today. byebye. nights!

2010-02-01T05:20:00.000-08:00

you got attitude??! FUCK OFF! dont show it to us mann. like wthell! kay whatevr, shall forgive and forget. AGAIN!
and thank you izza and Q for teman-ing me collect my lenses(: oh tmr is my last day with my bracesss! sadd liaooos. who wanna teman me??? :D

should i confess?? im still thinking about tht. why is it sooo hard???

2010-01-31T05:41:00.000-08:00

people keep thinking tht this girl up thr is me. -.-

wth!? hahah, funny. some even ask, which studio did i go.

crazyy people! some even say the eyes and the way i smile is th same. which is sooo not true.

i think?
kay whtevr!(:

2010-01-31T00:09:00.000-08:00

why do i always think of you even if we're not together. whats wrong with me? urghh. not only that, i dream about you last two days. its so weird. damn whats wrong with me. you've alr move on with your life, att once and thn broke up. now i think you like someone. kay tht i dont wnt to knw. the thing is tht, i cnt really move on. i might like someone or two, but you keep appearing in my mind. idk wht for. urghh. fuck la.

i think i shouldnt confess to him. maybe we should just carry on with our own life our way. but seriously, i do love you. why is it so hard for me to confess to you? urghhh. damn shitx!

2010-01-29T04:46:00.000-08:00

OMFMOG! LOVE HER HAIR! fuck la, i wanna cut like this.

can??? does it even suite me??

aiyoo, im in love with her, but more to the hairstyle!

heee!

my scandal is sooo hornyyy!

2010-01-27T03:15:00.000-08:00

steven strait are so fucking hot and cute!!!

and he look like taylor lautner.

*MELTS*

2010-01-24T05:03:00.000-08:00

FUCKED UP!

HATE YOU!

BITCH!

SLUT!

FUCK OFF!

2010-01-22T08:17:00.000-08:00

please la kayy, if you wanna lie to me. no fucking use, seriously. likewtfuck?! please la ehk, tell BABY kau tu, mulut jage sikit. and kau pun same, jangan nk ikt care org. so like the copycat siaaa. no sense of originality. freaks! kau da move on. lupekan aku je ah sia. tkya nk jadi close friend ni sumer. nnti bby kau jealous la kan, thn TERASE pulak tu! such a bitch! kau ni cepat CEMBURU! AND TERASE! please dont made up story whn its not true.
razak was asking me why am i ao angry, so i told him and he cheered me up(: thank you! hahaha. wht my wife say, is true. he act hot.
and if you're reading this. LAST LONG!

2010-01-17T00:35:00.000-08:00

get a life, seriously. get a real life! im seriously damn pissed of with you, and your attitude! damn what is sooooo fucking hard??? wtfuck is wrg with you? please la, da kalah, behhhh delete tu post ah??? sial la! fuck siaa! you and your reason! guys are always like tht! tk nk mengaku kalah! asyik2 nk menang! gy mampus uh kau! kau ngan nikky kau pun same. pukimak btl! sial nyer jantan! goo with your nikky kay, forget abt me dont even think abt me. arghh stress!

2010-01-15T18:43:00.000-08:00

"im looking at HER pics and i cant stop crying nikky... recently u confess that you like me... im sorry im talking abt her to you... you told me that if i need a friend... that i should text u... so here i am..idk la... my tears cant stop flowing... n seriously i feel lifeless...n i think i wanna fly... seriously..u knw wht im talking abt... i cant possibly talk to kam cos i dun wan him to worry... god i hate this feeling...nikky..i seriously am at a confuse state..me fists hurt...damn la... nikky.. just don't tell me tht im an idiot and stuff..please." kay this text i got it yesterday night. and i was damn pissed offf. like wtfuck!? and tht HER is referring to me. tht NIKKY girl is idk who. and if she got feeling for you, go ahead la. if you send it wronglyyy, tht is sooo a lie. i swear. go ahead and move on. dont wait for me any longer. its just a WASTE of time. please dont act as if you're gayyy. tk perlu uhhh ni sumerrrrr. damn im sooo angry right nowww.

2010-01-15T05:18:00.000-08:00

well, im got this feeling for someone, since last year bt im tooooo shy to confess. its sssssoooooo hard. damn, bt i cnt do anything. just got this feeling tht he's att. DAMN!

i need to fight for my position. argghhh! its sooo hard. im trying to fight for my place again. hope tht ill get to main six. aiyooo. stress bodoh!

and finally he replied my msg!(: yess ah. and he's not att la deyyy.(: hahaha. weee~ happy dokkk!(:

2010-01-09T02:21:00.000-08:00

had a surprise from my cliques. you people make it sooo obvious tawukk! haiiyoo, the surprise was sooo rough, seriously bt overall was fun. thanks for making me wet. and nam, you turn me into an ugly bitch. andand the good thing is tht, you all didnt save the video. hahaha, losers!!!(:
and thanks for the sweet present(: thank you sooo much!(: love you all lots!(:

2010-01-05T00:33:00.000-08:00

why would people lie about thmselves? like wth? ntg better to do isit? get a life! and seriously, im sooo confuse. dont act big whn you are not. hate tht kind,urghhh.

2010-01-01T03:04:00.000-08:00

irritations! breath in. breath out. Gr! just feel like saying it straight to you face! damn! you're irritating. i swear! its only the first day of new year, please stop being childish or what so ever. grow up! i will just keep quiet and walk away. i regretted!

2009-12-31T05:43:00.000-08:00

new year is in 2hours time. so i hope what ive wish for would come true. and i want all the bad things happen in 2009 would change and never want to repeat or see it happen again, ever again. to all my sweet friends, forgive me if i did something wrg to you, lets start afresh. (: and before i forget, 6 more days kays(: huhuhuh(:

btw, FUCKYOU! FUCKYOUSOHARD! ARGH! IRRITATING FREAKS!

2009-12-30T05:21:00.000-08:00

it feels like as if you're no longer the person ive knwn before. it seems so different, very different. whats wrong? isit you or isit me? idk.

2009-12-26T23:14:00.000-08:00

i wasnt feeling tht well today. vomited just now. uuhhh it suck. thn after awhile, got this phone call frm Q. she said tht she got free tickets for SG idol. so she ask if i would like to go. and i said ok. thn i called my bestie, she didnt ans. so called elina instead. she wanted to go. thn after awhile, my bestie called saying tht she wanted to go. i kept quiet for a moment thn i told tht elina is gng. so i said, ill ask elina first and blabla. so i made a decision to let thm go(elina and edora) thn after awhile i receive a msg from edora saying tht she cnt go, last min plan -.- so i have to go with elina(: hope we have fun. wee~ so jyeah.

2009-12-26T05:33:00.000-08:00

all of a sudden i have no fucking mood(fedupppp~). wnt to so called shopping with my parents and adik after jemputan. thn off to tamp mall to buy for my adik's game stuff and my bag and stuff. bt i didnt get fr some reason(annoyed!) thn wnt to Isetan to walk2 was like admiring those pair of shoes. wntd one bt is sooooooo fucking ex!!! so fuckget it! the dresses i wnt, its only 15 bucks i think and i still didnt get it. so fuckget it (again) so wnt to hougang mall instead. check2 tkde! btl2 punyer irritating sak! im sooo going to cotton on. murahhh sak.

and im sorry if i tk lyn you. im sorry. wanna be mad at me or something go ahead, my fault not to talk to you or say hi. its my fault. im so sorry.

2009-12-23T04:37:00.000-08:00

I'm soooo pissed! pissed! pissed! pissed! god damn it! but no matter what i have to tell the truth. integrity babe! ah whatever bullshitttz~

btw, im like suppose to meet b. but he woke up late. its not his fault, i dont blame him. i undrstd tht he didnt slp for two night. so jyeah, dont worry, im not mad or anything. so you musnt be sad, no mood blablabla. kay??? syg u! since i didnt meet him, wnt for trg. before tht, i watch twilight. hehe! so fun(: during training, played ball with patty. i swear to god my hand hurts! thnks coach. appreciate it(: thts all for now. (:

2009-12-21T23:51:00.000-08:00

had exam for this few days. its kinda sucks, sleep late at night and NTG goes in my head and what i studied, didnt appear in the papers! LIKE FUCK SIA! bt whtever la kansss exam finish already. btwkan, yesterday, got this two msg. one from caca(?) i dont even knw her. and also dayat, well, i knw him. its sooooo random of thm. hmmm. didnt meet b. again, my fault! im sorry! (: i think i wanna sleep. tired dokkk!

2009-12-19T23:29:00.000-08:00

had a bbq yesterday. but before tht, studied with q, nam and edora. thn off to my aunt house to prepare for the bbq stufffsss. thn blablabla, i was in the kitchen all the time cleaning, washing,frying and all. tired dohhh! bt whatever, i went outside to help with stuff. thn my brother asked to take food for his friends. so i helped, and i saw botak! and yan. yan is weird. they came with thier decks! and they smell nice(: and i like their shoesss(: my mum invited thm inside to eat instead of sitting outside. tht yan was like,"nur, amik kan air can? please?" thn botak was like "kite pun nk, thnk you awk. syg awk!" yan face changed and said, "dia aku yg punya samdol!" i stared at thm, laugh thn walk away. bunch of crazy guys. and the bbq was like fu- yoh! we end the bbq ard 12++ i think. and i was otp with b!(: hehe, ard 1+2 i fall aslp. hee!(:

psstpsst, i love you so much, and i miss you so much too!(:
see you on teus?

2009-12-16T04:54:00.000-08:00

hey! had vb day camp just now. watch movie, the movie was sooo touching and kinda funny. thn blablabla, DINNER TIME! ate kfc,canadian pizza and all. took pics with the seniors who are gng to leave us nxt yr. so gonna miss thm. especially, ROCHELLE! my most cutest, sweetest and undrstanding senior in volly. she cried while hugging me on my shoulders, wanted to cry bt i didnt. cause i promised her not to cry. i love her so much. gonna miss her so bloodly much! (:

psst, saw mus. he's sombong. bt i dont give a damn anymore.

2009-12-13T19:18:00.000-08:00

hey people! guess what?!! today's my GIRLFRIEND'S birthday!!!!(: she's alr 15 sehhhh! so jyeahh. happy 15th birthday namirah! i love you GF. :D

2009-12-12T18:56:00.000-08:00

on friday night i was fucking shocked, seriously. after tht convo, called my bestie and told her everything. so nw, only she knw hw i felt tht day. and tht particular sentence keep repeating in my head, it could not stop. and every time it repeats, i just feel like crying and keep asking myself, was it really my fault. the nxt day, i feel weak. i was at my aunt's house. she asked me to follow her to the market but before tht, we wnt to eat. i ordered nasi lemak, and guess what. i only eat 3 spoon of nasi lemak and im alr done with breakfast. thn walk to ntuc, inside ntuc i was walking like as if im drunk. wtf is wrg with me sia. so i wnt outside and sat dwn while waiting for my lil brother and aunt. after 15-20 min of waiting, they came. my stomach hurt so much tht i feel like vomiting. so wnt bck to aunt's house. the first thing i do is i ran to the toilet vomit what ever i eat just nw. thn i took a rest. 10 min ltr, i vomit again and again. seriously, i feel weak and my face look so pale. so i sleep and i had a morning nightmare. its a good thing i have my lil brother to help me. i love him. thn, my aunt wnts to go to onan rd and beach rd to get stuff for the bbq. thn picked my mum up to eat dinner together. reached east coast lagoon food village. mum and aunt wnt to order food while me and adik stayed thr. at tht point of time, i was doing fine. while eating i saw dolphin's friend. blablabla. thn off to order food for my dad and 3 other brother. i followed my aunt to get something for her son. and this two guys stared at me. i just ignore thm. thn walk pass thm again and he said" hello pretty" i turn and smiled. i do this not bcz i was flirting with him but trying to be friendly(:

2009-12-05T21:15:00.001-08:00

heyho!(:

well, last thurs was izzy's birthday, so when to suprise him but before tht, met b at whitesand(:

thn after 3 hours i think, wnt to edora's house to do stuff and all. thn off to bedok to meet yan. he really look like someone, i swear. k thn blablabla.
friday, i went to rapsodi hitz. was fun. and hyrul anuar is hot! sial la, like his hairstyle now sia. *melts* wooohoo!(: k thn yesterday whn to my cousin's keje kahwin. my eyes are fucking irritating i swear, it keep tearing idk why. so better wear specs frm today onwards.
i miss hubby so much! grrr, bt im meeting him tmr!(: wee~

not to forget, 3 more days!!!(:

2009-12-01T04:48:00.000-08:00

i miss so many people. first, my hubby. second my bestie(she went to jakarta), third my gf(went to Perth), fourth izza(Perth as well), fifth siti q! bt i meeting her tmr!^^ and also hubby! wee~ haha. i cnt wait(: kla, thts all. nightnight. tc you all(:

2009-11-28T05:09:00.000-08:00

wellll, i miss mr mayday!

hmmm, wnt to amber's house to bake muffins!(: but some of the ingredients wasnt enough so jyeah but the muffins still tasted nice(: thn off to meet mr mayday. i was FUCKING LATE SIA! sorry b! gave him the muffins! thn blablabla, this ahlep guy took the muffins followed by the other guy. and they said it was nice! *winkwink* i just realised tht this is the first time the relles so called gathering day. hee!(: love my bestie and amber(: bt i still love my mr mayday more(:
bestie! bila mau blaja gua??? 26 nov da lepas tawukk! (:

2009-11-26T20:46:00.000-08:00

i miss my hubby!!! i wanna meet him and all. i hope i can meet him tmr!(: wee~ i wanna hug and kiss him(: heee~! i love you b!(: tmr gng to edora's crib again(; to bake cupcakes???? yeahhh. we make more and more videos kay?? heheheh(:
ANDAND! if you wanna watch the video, go to edora's blog(:

and b wrote this for me:
Love is a powerful thing
It can make you cry and/or sing.
Love is what a lot desire
But sadly, only a few acquire
Like it takes two hands to clap
It also takes two to grab.

As my love for her is immeasurable
I hope her love for me is comparable
I think of her day and night
Cos i see her as my light
To get me through darkness in life.
And thus preventing me from reaching for the knife
I love you Nur Badriah Bte Ayub
Without you, my life has no hope.

2009-11-25T05:15:00.000-08:00

wht a day sia! so mad at myself. seriously! arghhh~! fucg up sia. b, im sorry to keep you waiting and irritated. damn mad at myself just now. not only tht, i thought i lost my ez link card. but, it was in the middle of my notebook. =.=' irritating nyerrr~ played with peicai just now, it was kinda boring. but tiring. so jyeahh. and b! your adik say, you went out carrying a hockey stick! wht is tht suppose to mean b??!!!! huh??! you dont mcm2 with me uhhh. whatever it is, i still love you((:

2009-11-24T00:40:00.000-08:00

went to b's pit on the saturday. and thr's only one pictures. so jyeahhh~ im at edora's crib now. (: paranormal activity was kinda boriiiinngggg~ gonna record a video soonnn! wee~

BBBBB!!!! i miss you! heh. love you.

2009-11-19T04:49:00.000-08:00

well, tmr is my hubby's birthday. happy 18th birthday b!(: i love you so much. without you, i wont be this happy. thnks b for everything(: i love you. HAH! im speechless.heh. i promise ill go to yr pit. love you! muacks!(:

bestieee~ seven more days tawukkK!(:

2009-11-18T04:54:00.000-08:00

(: im so fucking happy! ((: andandand, fuck you!!!

2009-11-17T05:00:00.000-08:00

eh, i do receive your text but do yknw wht happen between me and my family? you dont fucking knw right???? maybe some but not all. love is deaf. FYI, my results got worst andi regretted it. i was sad, angry and feel like as if im stupid. i let my dad down, not only him my whole family. im the only girl and they care so much abt me. whn im with bo, my dad, brother was fucking angry they scold me, hit and beat me. they dont even talk to me like they use to. for me, my family come first but like i've said, love is deaf. FYI! he's the one who ask me to delete his num frm yr contact and he wants to delete you frm his tagged. fuck ah! now you're trying to blame me pe?? sial la, kau tk tau the whole thing kau main shoot pe kat aku? mentang2 kau ader aryn kwn bobo. he told you or what so ever. SO??! kau fikir kau besar gitu ah? popular ah??? puki ah sia. yer aku tau kau, kau org nyer suke ambil tau hal org and masuk campur kehidupan org, nk tau aku berkawan ngan sape.kau blg haffidah ape, aku knl laki dari kau??? haha. buat kelakar pe girl??? and if atieqa, my own bestie have the guts to talk to me, why cant you??? huh???! why ah sia???? yer aku tau kau ngan aryn ader pape. SOOO?????!!!! eh i dont even care ah sia. its your life. kau ckp tkde org boleh halang dgn sape kau berkwn kan. YANG KAU KISAH SGT AKU BERKWN DENGAN DOLPHIN KE LAKI LAIN, APESAL??!?!! gini pe kau nk berubar??? sepatut nyer kau gy pkir dulu. aku da pkir ah tentang ni sumer. da ah kay. bye!

2009-11-16T00:17:00.000-08:00

OMFGGG!!!! im advanced! wee~ well im fuckinggg happy sia. kkk, let me tell you people what happen. nyeheheheh!

was on the motorbike with dad thn it rains -.- so whatever, reached sch and im fucking wet, my dad run so cute! ahaks!(: wait for v.p outside general office, guess wht, waited for her for like 45 min! =.= thn it was my turn. mrs goh was thr with us. she kept staring at my dad. -.^ wooo hooo! gatal punyer cikgu! tk gune. korek mate baru tau. hee~! talk talk talk for only 15 min. (: told my cliques and b. he was happy so are my cliques(: and tht eddie kept calling me! fucking irritating! grrrr~

before i forget i wnt out with b on sat. hahah. i love him! heh the pic is up thr ^^^^^

2009-11-15T02:46:00.000-08:00

on saturday wnt out with b. and i miss his smell, hugs everythinggg! grrrr~ i you so much la b! you better update your blog tmr horr~

abt tmr, im scared! fuck la. damn scared. i hope ill get advanced! shitz ass!

well, idk wht update sooo jyeaahhh.
bye(:

2009-11-13T01:26:00.000-08:00

girlfriend, new you knw how i feel. i kinda regret it manzzz! now, if i dont get promoted, ill just regret my whole life with him. Grrrr~ bestie, im not mad at you AT ALL! but i do love you(: *winkwink*

met b yesterday, it was damn touching whn he sang for me this particular song and he cried. he do mean it. and i appreciate it. i love you b! and im sorry i cnt ,meet you today. you knw the reason why. miss you damn much la b! *huggies*

2009-11-11T05:26:00.000-08:00

three days in a row, i've been meeting b. he do always make me laugh and smile even if im down. missing him alr nw. i cnt wait to see you tmr b!(:

before gng home, saw GF, izza and tharu. talk to GF abt stuff and all. i feel much more better after talking to her. bt the sad thing is, i cnt believe tht you cnt be trusted. seriously i was damn shocked. it's stressing me out! wtf sia. whatever, if this is how you going to treat me, bt all means. i have to learn to accept things even if its hard. fuckg sia!

2009-11-09T04:46:00.000-08:00

im so happy today!!(: phin always make me smile((: haha. oh ya fuck! v. camp is on the 20th of nov!! its phin birthday~! Grrrrrrr.

see tht cat up thr. i miss him! ): he ran away and didnt come bck. sad siaaa~ hope he is still alive(:

2009-11-08T02:29:00.000-08:00

why should we appreciate thm whn they dont appreciate us??

cnt be bothered sia with this kind of people.

2009-11-07T03:30:00.000-08:00

people, i want to watch paranormal activity, SERIOUSLY!!!
go watch the trailor. anyone wants to watch me???

2009-11-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

thr's no mre us.

our r/s has ended.

i really need someone to talk to.

anyone??? ):

2009-10-31T06:14:00.000-07:00

today was fun! i love edora(:
and i dont look hot in tht photo. -.-
i wanna work!
bt my mum wont let ):
btw, my gayboy went to KL today. AGAIN~
haiyo, tht gayboy ah, very popular at KL.
i wanna meet him again! ):
i miss you la gayboy.

2009-10-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

b, i really need to talk to you. i miss you. just getting mre stress.
people, what if i ______???? my form teacher are fucking irritating, i swear! grrr~
and you! so what??? i dont give a total shit! tht's one reason i hate abt you! im serious.
you should knw why i hate you last time and maybe now? idk.
fucking stress! grr~ feel like, like, like!*breath in, breath out*

to much stress to handle. need a break, again.

2009-10-25T00:21:00.000-07:00

im still scared abt my results.
what if i retain?? haiz, hope i wont. bt still, im scared.

2009-10-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

yesterday was EDORA FIZ CRABERA'S birthday!!(:

was fun and tiring. hope you enjoyed our "surprise" .

i know you like the bear^^ heh.

love you lots bestiee~!

hmmm, i wonder who's next?? ........

((:

2009-10-15T20:48:00.000-07:00

headache!!!!!!!!!!!!
at first i thought i was blind.

everything was white??

scary moment of the day.

AND

this parpicular person wont tell the reason. arghh~!

yesterday was tiring. blablabla.

Q, bring my bermudas tmr kayys!(:

well, i want to tell you the truth, bt im scared to hurt you.

you're the kind who take thing seriously.

bt, whatever i shall tell you one day.

i cnt just keep quiet, and let this happen.

well, i did saw dolphin on sat.

he's damn tall and skinny-.-

2009-10-09T18:26:00.000-07:00

its all memories.

2009-10-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

I love u bobo! Ilysm!

Wont be updating blog for meanwhile... Thanks.

2009-10-08T01:36:00.000-07:00

why must you people criticize my friend??? do you like me criticizing your friends?? and i never before did tht. wht for have a family who dont undrstd each other??? whats the point???? i hate you and i will NEVER forgive you! FOREVER! even if you were on your knee. i dont fucking care. just dont like the way they treating me! i had enough stress in this family! im not the badriah who just keep quiet. im diff now. i never want to see their face! abdul qaiyum you're the worst brother in whole! I HATE YOU!

2009-10-06T05:39:00.000-07:00

well, jln raye with izza, bobo and his friends.

izza had to go home as her aunty died.

she look so diff with make up on. she look prettyyy!!(:

and izza, you so random kid. i read your blog.

i forgive you for every single thing.

and im sorry too.

bestbest.

haff, i knw tht its not your fault and im sorry to hate you tht much last time.

and how dare you _____ me! bladddyyy bitch! hate you to the max la!! gundu girl btl.

exam!! ))): sobsob2.

im gonna fail ss, maths.

my oh my. stress you! geog tmr. have to study. and i just came bck from lisa's house.

so fun-ny! hahaha.(:

tmr jln raye!!! yay yay!!!((:

2009-09-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

this is qqxz cutey ppl. it was her birthday yesterday.

sedap tk brownies tu?? hehe^^

well, happy 15th birthday sitiku tersayang!

see this guy??? well he's my adik(:

its his birthday today!!! weee~

happy 11th birthday adikku tersayang!!!

love you veryverythemuch(:

when to lisa house to study(: i was kinda lost half way. heh

took pics. thn met bobo and aryn. talk to bobo abt this girl not lisa.

she cant be trusted. i thought tht she could,but i was wrong.

2009-09-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

its been hard nowadays. exams are around tht little corner. and im here stress. how great. hmmm. and im damn pissed off with my mum. im suppose to go geylang today but instead, she told me to go tmr. like wth gitu tau. nvm la im used to all this stuff. and and and, someone's birthday is tmr!!^^ ltrltr jela we sing song for you kayy. (:

its been a fucking long time tht i never meet my syg you knw, i need to talk to him. but he's busy now adays, so am i. its damn irritating. arghhh~ hope to see to see you soon.

zahira is weird and irritating during remedial and she's LATE! its fun going remedial with the ROBYN wong(she's my teacher actually, heh). once in a life time(;

2009-09-19T21:13:00.000-07:00

hello people! selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin.

kalau terkasar bahasa harap dimaafkan. ((:

syg korang sumer. wee~

2009-09-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

my butt hurts. ALOT~! thnks to tht deck(:
well, i do feel ashame after shahekah told me tht. i told b, he was angry so is ary. nw i knw ary treat me as a sister. but, i just cant accept the fact tht the chompang guys would do tht. it really hurt me deeply. *sigh*

after trg today went to nam house to take the spare phone(thnks nam) nam, parent are asked me to breakfast with thm. so i just agreed and eat with thm. when i saw them talking, laughing and all. i feel like crying, idk why. they seem so happy. my family??*speachless* well, they are lucky. how i wish my family would be like tht one day. whatever la.

bby, im sorry if you're mad or angry abt yesterday. but i still love you, and dont wish to leave you syg.

2009-09-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

shahekah, i do know that you hated me and you dont like me tht well. i do hate you more and didnt like you tht much. but who cares now. i still treat you nice. right?? i know you been through more than i do. but mine is different from you. you are the degil kind. im still degil but i still care and love my family no matter how much i hate them. cause i know they do love me but they dont want to show it. i know my family members. they are like that. but my mum always fine troubles. i didnt show my stress to all. but some maybe. well im sorry for that. well, its hard to say it on blog. and im kinda lazy to type. so, anything just talk to me in sch or whatever.

b, thanks for everything you've done for me. i really appreciate tht syg. i love you, i love you always.

2009-09-12T21:40:00.000-07:00

well, yesterday was our 1st month anniversary.

but sadly, he and ary was having problem so we went to mama house.

they were painting the house, me and mama watching humtum -.-

but whatever. buke with mama, papa,ary,ijat,b and me.

then b and ary sent me home.

b, its not your fault that our anni became this way.

i understand what problem you're facing.

whatever it is, i still love you b.

and i wont leave you.

happy anniversary b(:

and as usual, my mum end up take my hp and the sim, so people dont bother text or call me. ill buy a new sim card MYSELF!

ibu you're being unfair towards me. is this how you treat a daughter???

just because you still have 4 sons, you push me away, treat them like prince.

and treat me like slave???? what the fuck is wrong with you mum???

seriously, i've been patient with how you treat me.

and abt the hp. im damn pissed!

so what if that's your money???? you want it back?? thn my sim card you took it as well????

and you would pay it?? i shall see bout tht.

i trusted you mum, and is this the way you treat me?? i cried the whole day and even now. no one understand how i feel. my life is full of controls. what i do is wrong, what i say is wrong. i might as well, arghhh~!

b, can you reply your offine msg.

2009-09-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to IZZA! happy birthday to you~! Happy 15 birthday IZZA! love you la. wink2*
hows the suprise??? best? hehe^^

2009-09-10T06:40:00.000-07:00

i really love you la bo.

psst, this saturday!! important day tau tau tauuu~! hehe^^

2009-09-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

i really cant bare the stress im having now. they dont understand me. forget it, i shall not think too much and stress myself. my phone da repair.
well, yesterday i was panic, scared. aryn and syg knws why. whatever.

kay bye!

2009-09-06T01:16:00.000-07:00

something struck me. its freaking me out.

2009-09-05T07:07:00.001-07:00

i don't care if you're with my ex. im happy if you're happy. yes we do fights alot. so??? must you be so proud that your relationship are good?? so am i now. but day by day. there will be some fight or arguments. that's how relationship suppose to be. what for happy and all but you're not sincere???? kau silent break ngan yadiy??? so? i dont care. but, dulu kau mati2 syg dier, you even cried for him, you dont want to lose him. bt now?? where's your love, sayang to him?? skrg kau da ader lelaki lain, lelaki kau, kau letak aside. k that aku da tk nk masuk campur. up to you kay. but i do have friends. info ketat. so tkya kau nk hide dgn aku. no point if you lie or what so ever. kau sendiri nk berubah kan, so berubah. PROVE it to me and others. i trusted you that you'll change one day. i really want to see you change. but please, dont change for us, change for yourself. im not forcing you or what, but please think. i really want to see you change my dear shahekah. respect yourself before other disrespect you. da lah kay. i had enough of us arguing. i want us to be friends, not enermy. and btw, last long ngan boyfriend kau tu. jadi dier baik2 kau pun same. im not trying to be sarcastic kay, im sincere. life have to move on like you say. you're moving on, so am i. so we go on our own way. kau happy, aku pun happy la.